I hope mine doesn't look like that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
