shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
