Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am available for nakedness
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
