I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
