Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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