i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
