we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
