What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
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How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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