your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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