We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
