I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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