i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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