And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
