Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
