your thong is hanging out like whoa
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
