I feel great
I just peed on a car
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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