Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
