So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
