I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
