hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
