I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
