she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
