He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize