Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
