On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
