Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
