idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
