They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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