Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
