So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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