So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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