i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
