ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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