I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
