Plan B is the new Plan A
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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