Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
