Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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