First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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