Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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