you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
