It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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