As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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