Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
