SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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