Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
