quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
