Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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