does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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