put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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