I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
