WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
