I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
