I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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