wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
