his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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