I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
