I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
