seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Boobs are out for the taking
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize