remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
