I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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