Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
