As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
