Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
