I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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